My Inner Snow Globe

By Carol Woolum Roberts

Yesterday I sat in my living room doing some work, and watched the snow fall throughout most of the day.  At one point the wind started making the snowflakes swirl around, and it reminded me of what the inside of a snow globe looks like when you shake it.

My thoughts have been like that over the past week. 

Scattered. Flying around. Restless. Directionless.

One morning my morning sowing seeds journaling began..

I am feeling angsty.

All week I have felt the need to center myself.  To calm my mind and my spirit. 

I wrote in last Saturday’s “Weekend Watering” newsletter we send out to people on our email list the following:

I have tried to experience the depth of tradition, solemnness, peace, healing and lament the Catholic Church brings to the Lenten Season.  I often wish my Christian tradition growing up would have had more emphasis on this preparation and contemplation in the days leading up to Easter.  As an adult, I have tried to make this season more of a time of spiritual depth in my life. 

And these two Ash Wednesday communications, one in a conversation and one in written form, remind me this week to take time to embrace the meaning of the Lenten season in my own life. 

Maybe I am experiencing some of the Lenten mystery with the unsettledness in my spirit.  I started reading a book this week titled “Eternal Seasons: A Liturgical Journey with Henri J.M. Nouwen”, Michael Ford, Editor.  Here is part of the introduction to the section about Lent.

“Henri Nouwen once described Lent as the season during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance.  I think this is an appropriate image because during this time of year the darkness and light within each of us can become locked in conflict.  We are called not only to examine the integrity of our own motives but to work courageously for justice in the world around us.

Lent, which means springtime, is traditionally a six-week period of abstinence and repentance in preparation for Easter.  As the buds open on trees and the days lengthen, this is a spiritual season which calls for greater openness to the word of God and a conversion in every area of our lives.  It is a time to face the darkness within and expose it to the light.

Lent is the season to confront our demons and expel them.”

Perhaps that is what is happening.  Without consciously knowing it, these angsty, disjointed, scattered feelings are communicating with me the need to examine the integrity of my motives, to be more open to the word of God, and to face the darkness within and expose it to the light.

How do I deal with all this?  For me, writing the morning sowing seeds pages get the thoughts on paper. Then I try to sort them out.

Read the word of God and seek wisdom.

Identify the motives in my life.  Look at the dark places of my soul, and, though painful at times, expose them to the light.

This is experiencing “little deaths” in my life. This is one pathway for me to enter into closer communion with God during this Lenten season.

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Is there a creative way you experience the Lenten season, to help you draw deeper into this season of preparation for Easter?

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